101 essays that will change the way you think: BOOK REVIEW & 4 LESSONS

A book you need to read in your 20's.

I have finally come around to reading one of the highly recommended and popular self help book called "101 essays that will change the way you think" by Brianna Wiest, even if it took me a few months, and here is my book review along with lessons.

REVIEW:

I liked the book, it's a book that if you are in your early 20s you should read it because it's about why you should purpose over passion, about embracing negative thinking, seeing the wisdom in daily routine and helps you becoming aware of the cognitive biases that are creating the way you see your life. 

However, out of 101 essays, I wrote down about half or even less of the half chapters that I need to come back and reread. Some of the chapters after the first 50 ones, are repeating things.

One of the chapters I really enjoyed and stood out to me is specifically, "Expectations you must let go of in your 20s" because im in my early twenties and it's a nice advice and reminder.

More chapters that really stood out to me are "Uncomfortably feelings that actually indicates you're on the right path", "20 signs you're doing better than you think you are", because we all need signs if we are on the right path or not. Also, chapters such as "101 things more worth thinking about than whatever consuming you" and "102 ways to not let irrational thoughts ruin your life" but the questionable chapters are really helpful as a person who overthinks a lot on a daily basis.

What I loved most of the book is that there is no connection between the chapters. It's a collection of ideas, self help advices, reminders, questions and that personally help me.

I recommend this book to anyone who is a beginner at self improvement or starting a self love journey or you're in your early twenties, needing signs if you're in the right path or feeling like it's too late to start. 

LESSONS:

 

1. You're not meant to be happy all the time.

"Negative emotions are good for you. In fact, maintaining a consistent "happiness" or any emotion, really would be a sign of mental illness". 

"Pain is signal that something is wrong, suggesting is what happens when we don't heed it".

You can't avoid megative, bad feelings forever. Most influences around social media and gurus give the wrong idea of it, saying "be happy", because you can't be happy everyday. To be happy means to going through the pain too.

 This is one lesson the book teaches us. Negative feelings make you aware of a problem you need to deal with, the more you ignore those feelings more issues will appear in your life such as anxiety, anger issues etc. Instead, deal with them, get through them to go through it.

2. You should be living life not just spending it by thinking about it.

"You don't remember years, you remember moments."

"Don't take anything seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

"Don't let the fear of finding something definitive keep you from finding anything at all".

We tend to listen to social media when they tell us to create Pinterest boards of the way we want our life and future to be but what in reality we do wrong? We stay still and wait for thr boards to become reality without actually making them happen.

Stop planning till everything it's perfect and start from something, somewhere small till you go and do bigger. Taking step by step will take you the top of the ladder not being at the bottom looking at it.

3. Don't let your past self dictate how you live your life today

"There is no water you will be able yo predict or plan what will be happening in 5 years from now. If you can predict and plan for that, dream bigger. Try harder."

Seeing myself five years ago, she had no idea where I would be today and importantly who I'd be today, with my interests and passions. I'm still finding passions and my interests change, it's normal.

Spending your whole high school years focusing on grade to get into your dream college of your dream career because you already made your 5 years plan does it mean it's what you're actually end up doing? No!

Don't force yourself to finish that five years plan just because that's what you started doing and you feel forced to finish it.

You can always change, choosing another path to a complete different life depending on the person you are today.

4. The thing you love and hate about others tell you a lot about yourself.

"You love in others what you love in yourself. You hate in others what you cannot see in yourself."

If you hate when someone is talking too loud, or being interrupted by someone while talking, or when someone is chewing too loud, there's a possibility that's because you refuse to admit to yourself that you do those things too.

If you don't care about it, you should feel indifferent towards it.

Take all that to find more about yourself, to heal, and love yourself more, to accept but also if you feel like you need, to change yourself too.

You can find the book here.